I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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