Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
