no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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