It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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