why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
