he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
