my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
