exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
where does the pee come out of this thing
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
