i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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