The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
