you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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