four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
