Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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