You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
