My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
