you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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