Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
