she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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