guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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