So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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