Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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