singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
