it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
