I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
