And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
