Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
