He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
