it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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