I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
