so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
