I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
