I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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