he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
