Are we in a gay sports bar?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
COCAINE IS GR8
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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