hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
