I hate your face
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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