So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
