he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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