i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
