at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
