Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
being pregnant is like rehab
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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