I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
