So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
