Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
