Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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