look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
