I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
