he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
