my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
