How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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