I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
