WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
home. puking in laundry basket.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
